You are listening to "Flying with Angels"

By: Na Leo Pilimehana


October 2005


From: kaycee armstrong
eMail: boyzlovergirl@aol.com
City_State: florida ,west palm beach
Date: October 31, 2005
Time: 08:49 AM

hey britt omg your soo pretty even thow i dont kno you i think your rele pretty.  if you no merissa im her cousin and the first time i herd
about your death and the car crash.

even thowe i dont kno you i felt rele bad i think its kool what your mom did 4 u. And your sisters are rele cute

well i no you read your comments up there and i read every of your pics and things and i think about you lots even thowe i dont kno you

well im going to go

xoxoxoxox god bless you

kaycee


From: Mary
City-State: VA
Date: October 30, 2005
Time: 09:28 PM

I learned about Brittany and her accident through MySpace. I'm so sorry for your loss, but I know she is flying high in heaven.

I live in Virginia, but saw this story from Dayton, Ohio on our local news:  http://www.daytondailynews.com/localnews/content/localnews/daily/1030fatalweb.html

Four teenage boys, none of whom had a license, were joyriding. The car crashed into 2 trees and all 4 boys were killed. I thought that maybe the STAAR program could do something with their school district.

My thoughts and prayers are with Brittany and her family and friends.

<3

Note from the web manager - Thank you so much Mary - we will bring your email to the next STAAR program meeting.  We appreciate you looking out for your peers.


From: Alex Valentin
eMail: avperz1985@yahoo.com
City_State: columbia,sc
Date: October 30, 2005
Time: 12:55 PM

i am really sorry about what happened. she's in a better place now and looking at all of us. i cheer in the other side of the us at american cheer x-treme and always loved CA allstar.

i don't understand but when i looked at the web site i actually started to cry while i reading and looking at picture. it was like i knew her from somewhere. then i remember i talk to a girl named Brittany at a competition from CA. she was an awesome person but don't know if it was her.

best regards to all the family..

alex


Date: October 28, 2005
Time: 01:41 PM

I am sorry about brittany i truly am.

I had never had anything like this happen to me. I am also a cheerleader just in middle school - no where near as good as brittany was but i m sorry about accident that happened.

god bless your family R.I.P

your a very beautiful girl
 


From: Kristen*Louise
eMail: krissybaby87@cox.net
City_State: PoWaY, Ca
Date: October 27, 2005
Time: 01:46 PM

dear curcio and mumma families,

its been more than 6 months since your beautiful daughter/sister brittany passed away and went to be with God. i come here to her memorial site and her myspace all the time. i think often how things would have been if brittany hadn't have speeded down that road that night...as most of you do too.

for ashley..that must have been hard seeing one of your best friends lying on the grass lifeless. its going to be 5 months since my friend Nic died. i went by where his car accident happened and i couldnt believe that all the glass from his windshield was on the road still.

i am amazed by all the teenage car accidents there have been lately..not just brittany and nic's accidents but david islas and jill sabet and jonathan schulte from orange county. jill and jon were dating and on their was to jills junior prom when the car they were in flipped and killed them both instantly. david islas went to marion catholic high school and his mother ran a red light and unfortunately cost him his life.

i cant help wonder what all these kids are thinking when they get behind the wheel of a car. i know its all accidents but all their decisions affect about a thousand people each time something happens.

i wear my brittany and nic bracelets everyday and when i think about speeding down the road i look at them and say "i dont want to end up the way they did." even though teenagers do stupid things sometimes i always wonder "what if..?" but now i guess i will never know.

star, baylee, tony, gia, cameron...stay strong, you will make it through. little errors are huge corrections in my eyes. im going to leave you with a letter written by Johnny Bodley entitled "if i were to die tonight".

peace and love
kristen clark

if i were to die tonight by Johnny Bodley


I thought that life itself was only but a few good or bad given years, and during the course of it many decisions must be made to determine whether it would be long and prosperous, or short and troublesome. During my entire young lifetime, some how I felt deep down in my heart that responsibility should always play a great role, and should never be overlooked or forgotten. Why is it that sometimes for the sake of love it always seems like that which is so precious, gets destroyed, and that which is so pure becomes so tainted?

I’ve made some bad choices and decisions but now understand that bad decisions as well as bad choices have been the reason why millions of young dreams were not achieved and millions of young visions were not seen. Because of so many heated, passionate, and crazy moments, millions of young precious lives have been wasted and lost. I realize now that it is only by the grace of God that mine wasn’t one of those.

I’ve had many friends who took a deadly ride and died indeed. Sometimes I wonder why I didn’t perish because I’ve lived very dangerously also, and have said yes more times than I care to remember; yet I survived and I’m very grateful.

I’m not going to say that I was blessed because to me that would mean that my friends that didn’t make it were not. However, I will say that I believe God saved me for a specific and special reason. But no matter how much faith I have in Him, I realize that I’m not perfect and that I am who I was even though I’m trying very hard to change.

Being a teenager in the world today is very hard. I hope that one day when I’m grown I be strong enough to be a shoulder for someone to lean on, and be able to lend a helping hand to some young person that have lost their way. That is my prayer.


rest in peace angel<34.24.05
 


From: Cameron ( brittany's lil brother )
City_State: Escondido Ca
Date: October 25, 2005
Time: 07:46 PM
 



Hi Sister,

I love you & you love me.

Brittany does love me too! We play a lot... We laid together. We color together. That's all

I Love You Brittany!

Cameron


From: Kelly Chohany
eMail: kelly.chohany.04@cnu.edu
City_State: Newport News, Virginia
Date: October 25, 2005
Time: 09:59 PM

I am a college student who no longer lives in San Diego, however, when I came home this summer, I was told about Brittany.

I went to Rancho Bernardo High School and live in the 4-S Ranch community-- near the crash site. I was very distraught about Brittany's accident, and even found myself driving the "long" way home to pass her memorial tree-- somehow it brought me comfort to know that she was being remembered.

I come to this site often, hoping to find more peace with this tragic accident, but I simply find myself crying as I read and listen. It just puts everything into perspective—this time it was Brittany, but tomorrow it could be me, you, or your best friend.

It is amazing how one simple and careless choice can change thousands of lives.

 am deeply sorry for your loss. I cannot even begin to imagine how it feels. I pray everyday that this does not happen again. I have three younger brothers and could not even begin to imagine my life without them or my parents.

Star, I don’t know how you do it-- I know it is hard, but your activism is only making you and the community stronger and more aware. Good job on all of your efforts. Keep up the good work. I know it might not seem like much now, but Brittany is ALWAYS with you. She is watching over you and your family. And for every tear you cry, I am sure Brittany is crying 100 times more in heaven—I know she didn’t want anyone to suffer and feel this pain.

Continue to fly with the angles Brittany. You are a shining star.

All of my love,

Kelly


Date: October 25, 2005
Time: 10:22 PM

Beautiful Brittany-

Why you? Why? This is the question that will never be answered, but is always in my head.

Baby, I would give up my life for you, I would do anything to bring you back.  Everyone misses you SOO much.  I still can't believe this happened, It seems unreal. 

I miss you and I love you with ALL of my heart.

Fly High Baby Girl.
 


City-State: Monterey Bay, CA
Date: October 25, 2005
Time: 03:14 PM

Star,

I read the most recent message you wrote for Brittany in this guestbook. Tears fill my eyes when I read about how you remember talking to Brittany about her future, that she was never moving out your house, her graduation, fall in love and having children. This is a discussion I think that every mother and daughter have several times.

When I still lived at home with my parents I remember telling my mom that I am going to marry the man of my dreams and have a big white house in Boston and get my PhD in education. To have that ripped away from you is a sin and no one deserves it. I don't even know the words to say because I know there are no words anyone can say to make you feel any better.

I turned on the radio in my car this morning and "Who You'd Be Today" by Kenny Chensey came on the radio. I immediately thought of Brittany. I had to pull over on the side of the freeway because my tears were making it extremely difficult to drive. I also thought of my best friend's sister, Lisa, who died a few years ago from drunk driving.

Sometimes, life just plainly sucks. I don't like using this word but it's the truth. And when you wrote about how you never thought it would happen to you...that is what everyone thinks. No one they love and care for will ever be taken from them. But unfortunately this was not was case.

Brittany's smile was and still is contagious. Each time I go to her MySpace, this website, or a picture I have of her in my room, I smile but cry inside. The pain will never go away and it does not ease over time.

I am still mourning the death of my Nana and even though it has been over 2 years since she died, I still cry every time I listen to "Slipped Away" by Avril Lavigne. Here are the lyrics to this song. It's hard to read without crying, but I think it is good to read it.


Slipped Away -Avril Lavigne-

I miss you, miss you so bad
I don't forget you, oh it's so sad
I hope you can hear me
I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

Nah nah la la la nah nah

I didn't get around to kiss you
Goodbye on the hand
I wish that I could see you again
I know that I can't

Oooooh
I hope you can hear me cause I remember it clearly

The day you slipped away
Was the day I found it won't be the same
Ooooh

I had my wake up
Won't you wake up
I keep asking why
And I can't take it
It wasn't fake
It happened, you passed by

Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go
Somewhere I can't bring you back
Now your gone, now your gone
There you go, there you go,
Somewhere your not coming back

The day you slipped away
Was the day i found it won't be the same noo..
The say you slipped away
Was the day that i found it won't be the same oooh...

Nah nah, nah nah nah, nah nah
I miss you

There are nights I still cry myself to sleep and I am sure you do as well. It was hard to read Christine's part of her message to Brittany where she says that she breaks down each time she puts Giavanna to bed and she cried about how much she misses you.

My friends still ask me why I was so affected by Brittany's death and not the deaths of other young people. I answer them each time with the same answer:

After you and your family (Mumma/ Curcio and friends) celebrated her 16th birthday at the beach and let butterflies fly into the sky, I have been seeing them all over!!! In Monterey we rarely rarely rarely ever get them but now, everyday, I always see 1. A few months ago, one followed me from my apartment door to my car door (which is about 30 feet). I believe this is a sign from Brittany that she is even looking over and protecting the lives of people she never met because that was the type of person she must have been. It must have been a true blessing to be loved by this girl. I can only wish now, that we were once friends. It seems that we would have gotten along. We are interested in the same music, movies, and both seem to have a personality that no one could not like.

Star- I wish we could have met up at Starbucks while I was home last weekend. I know you were extremely busy with the Cheer Competition. So maybe next time I am home we can try it again.

Thanks so much for sharing your stories and messages to Brittany in this guestbook.

God Bless,


Rebecca Wilner

RIP Butterfly
Please continue to look over me.
 


From: Mommy
Date: October 25, 2005
Time: 11:13 AM
 


From: Mommy
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 03:20 PM

My Dear Brittany,


The Pop Warner Cheer Competition was yesterday. They did a wonderful dedication for me, your dad and Baylee. I had no idea they planned something and was so honored. Your dad, Baylee and I cried, it was very beautiful. RBPW dedicated a 2 page picture and article in the program…it was incredible, so heartwarming. They are very special people that loved you and miss you so much. CA All-stars also was there to do a performance and both teams that performed shouted out at the end. “We love you Brittany” and “That one was for you Brittany”. They also love and miss their wonderful flyer! Of course your sissy Baylee took the floor in her Mitey Mite team and landed a Round-off Double back handspring. The team did an awesome job and we of course dedicated our routine to you. When they finished Baylee came to me and jumped up in my arms with a Big hug. It was one of those like you use to give me that said “thank you mom for all you do and coaching our team”. Although, it was hard for me to go through coaching her team without you as we had planned. That moment made it all worth it and I know that your arms were wrapped around Baylee and me. I felt you….I know I did.

It is 6 months today and of course I just feel an overwhelming sense of grief for you. On one hand I can’t believe it is already 6 months since you left us and on the other hand it feels like 2 years because everyday without you goes by so slow. My heart still aches so much for you. Time does not heal anything it only makes you hurt more for the person that you love and you miss them more everyday that goes by.

I heard the song by Simple Plan –“How Could This Happen to Me” and all I can think about when I hear that song is you saying the words to me as you laid there on the grass and I was holding you trying to believe you were going to be okay. The worst nightmare of my life and it never for a second leaves my head. I know you would never want us hurt and go through any of this and I know how sorry you would be if you could tell us all. I want so badly to go back to the night of April 23rd and know what I know now before going to bed that night. I think about that everyday what I could’ve done to change any of that night. I would give anything to change it and have you back.

It hurts so bad to love someone with all your heart and just have it all ripped away from you. My heart and soul is just crushed without you. This just wasn’t suppose to happen to us Brittany it was going to be me and you forever. We talked so much about your future and how you were never going to move out of my house!! We talked about you going to college, falling in love, getting married, having babies. How can this be fair?? How can you just be gone from my life??? How can we never again have another talk and never have future dreams for your life? I feel in such denial because I still don’t want to believe this is true. We always think as parents this will never happen to us but I now know it does. I fear everyday for your sisters now as well. This has already happen twice in my family and no one can ever tell me it can’t happen again.

We were so close and I don’t think I will ever be able to accept that this has happen to my beautiful baby girl. You gave me such joy in your short life. You were an amazing girl with so much love. A child/teen with a kind heart and soul. You lived your life with such good morals and values and you taught others how to be the same way and still are today. I will never understand why God would think your work here was done. You gave so much everyday here to anyone that knew you. This awful world needs people like you so why you? I can not wait until the day I see you again in Heaven. To hold you and see your beautiful smile again will be my dream come true. All my questions will then be answered when we are together again. You will finally be able to tell me everything I have longed to know.

I’m so honored to be your mother and to have a wonderful daughter like you. I know that you knew that when you were alive but the person you are will live on in my heart and soul forever. You have changed my life in so many ways and I have learned so much from you and God. My faith and knowing we will be together again is my only strength right now.

One of my best friends told me about this song by Kenny Chesney called “Who You'd Be Today”. It reminded her of me and everything I’m going through... She was so right. I couldn’t believe when I heard the song. I just cried and cried.

Words can not even tell you how sorry I’m that this happen to you. You did not deserve any of this and to not have you here is a void that I will always have in my life forever.

My Love you to always and forever….
Love,
Mommy

(Press the play button on the Media Player above to hear song)

Artist/Band: Kenny Chesney
Lyrics for Song: Who You'd Be Today
Lyrics for Album: The Road and the Radio

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
Wear the pain like a heavy coat
I feel you everywhere I go
See your smile, I see your face
I hear you laughing in the rain
Still can't believe your gone

(Chorus:)
It ain't fair you died too young
Like a story that had just begun
But death tore the pages all away
God knows how I miss you
All the hell that I've been through
Just knowing, no one could take your place
Sometimes I wonder, who you'd be today

Would you see the world
Would you chase your dreams
Settle down with a family
I wonder what would you name your babies
Some days the sky's so blue
I feel like I can talk to you
And I know it might sound crazy

(Chorus)

Today [3x]
Today [3x]

Sunny days seem to hurt the most
I wear the pain like a heavy coat
The only thing that gives me hope
Is I know, I'll see you again someday

Someday, someday

 


From: Daddy
City-State: Escondido Ca
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 09:45 PM

Baby Girl,

My Dearest Brittany,

My Daughter, I Love you & miss you so very much!!! I don't think a couple of minutes pass that you are not in my thoughts... You are always on my mind & always will be.

Tonight as you know, your friends and family lit candles in your honor. Britt, You have touched the hearts of so many when you were here with us and even more since you left this world to be with the Lord. Everyone feels the same. Like you did such a great deed in life that your presence was required elsewhere.

Our time here was cut way too short but we will definitely make up for it soon. I can't wait to see you again baby girl. You are my hero forever and always have been. I miss passing the football with you... We will do that again also. I know that we will!

Until then my Awesome Blossom. I love you and I miss you, Can't wait to kiss you... Again & Again & Again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love,
Daddy


From: Kim Conway
City-State: CA
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 10:47 PM

Sr. Elite and Sr. Coed performed an exhibition this past weekend at the Pop Warner competition and i just wanted to let you know, that we all miss you and wish you were able to be here with us. keep watching out for us from up above.

much love and kisses


From: Christine
City & State: Rancho Bernardo
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 09:43 PM

Sweet Little Girl,

You will never be forgotten.  Your smile, your laughter, the way you touched our lives with your kind hearted ways.  I do what I can to stay close to your mom and dad and help them with their grief, but I always wish I could do more.

I can't help but imagine how wonderful it must have been to be loved by you.   This life gave you such a big family of people to love and be loved by. 

Your Daddy and Cameron and Geoffrey - I see in your eyes how much love you shared.  There will always be something special about a "daddy love" between a father and his daughter. No one can ever take that away.  And there is nothing more fun than to have brothers to hang out with, confide in, and take care of.  I love the picture of you and Geoffrey when you were dancing and cracking up!!  And little Cameron's delirious smile while resting in the comfort of your hugs.  How they must miss you - I'll bet you miss them too.

Growing up with Steve and then receiving the gift of a baby sister to love - Beautiful Baylee.  Yes - you would be proud of your "mini-me".  She looks like a princess and has such gentle strength. You created lots of memories and traditions together.  Those moments will always be cherished and will continue on.

Spending your teen years with Greg and then receiving another precious "baby sister" gift - Miss Giavanna - in all her glory.  She's a little fireball of passion going a hundred miles and hour, but how it breaks my heart when we finally catch her in our arms to tuck her in at night and she cries about how much she misses you.

Yes, your mom is strong.  But she is also broken...her heart and her spirit have been shattered.  Time does not heal, but we try to think of what you would want for her.  So it always goes back to your love - and that love you gave her keeps her going for one more day.   That's all we try to do - take it one day at a time. 

A mother's love is hard to explain, but a child truly is a part of you.  You grew in her womb, close to her heart.  The part of her that was "Brittany's Mom" aches for you and longs to hold you close to her heart again, protecting you and keeping you from all harm.  A mother lives to protect the child in her womb and it doesn't stop when her child is born. 

Six months without you - it's so very sad.  There are no fancy words left to say, nothing more to conjure up, no way to make it better, or to even heal the hurt.  It is what it is.  Just lonely without you and sad that you aren't here anymore.

You will not be forgotten, sweet girl.  Please know that all those that love you will not forget about you or the family you left behind.

Hugs and kisses,

Christine


From: Alyssa
City_State: RB
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 09:31 PM


goodness Britt. I cant believe its been 6 whole months. It just seems so unreal to me. even after all this time has passed.

ill never forget the day of april 24th when my life was changed completely. its so hard to believe that ur gone and i wish that i could have more and more memories with you. but as i look back, we shared so much together. and ill cherish those times forever and ever.

u changed my life brittany curcio and i can still remember that wonderful day when u moved in next door to me. Ill never forget that wonderful smile, or that cheerful laugh, or those witty comments u used to make to get me to see a good side to things.

words cannot express how much i miss u, but i know u are in a better place. i still know its not goodbye for us, ill see again one day butterfly. until then i love u so much.

u were awesome britt, and ill always cherish our wonderful friendship we shared as next door neighbors and best friends.

love u so much girl. i hope ur flying with angels...

with much love,
alyssa


From: Megan
City_State: San Diego, Ca
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 06:24 PM

Hey Brittany,

Wow six months? It seems like just last week we lost you. I wish it was just a horrible dream and tomorrow we'll wake up and you'll be here with us. Wouldn't it be great if we could just turn back time? Then nothing would have happened to you. We all miss you so much Brittany, and it's really hard but I know you are looking down on everyone and helping them get along.

You were such a sweet loving person, I remember the first time i talked to you was at the locals competition, My team didn't make it on and yours did you came up to me and said "it's ok you guys did awesome and it doesnt matter if you make it to regionals or not you guys are still incredible cheerleaders" All i could think was, wow how nice of her, i dont even know her.

You were such an awesome girl brittany and you helped so many people in so many different ways. You taught teenagers everywhere what the dangers of the road could hold. I couldn't believe it when i heard what happened to you.

The crash site is right up the street from my house, I drive past it everyday and each time it's hard not to cry.

Brittany I miss you so much, its hard to understand how hard it is for your family. Watch over them, help them. I know you already are

Love Always,

Megan


From: Britt
eMail: stillonlyakid@hotmail.com
City_State: san diego. CA
CheckBox: OK to Post Name
CheckBox0: OK to Post Email Address
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 06:07 PM

I never knew Brittany but came across this poem and for some reason she was the first person i though of. Six months, yet it still seems like yesterday. Such a beautiful girl she is. Rest in peace angel.



If Tomorrow Starts Without Me
Author: David Romano


When tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see,
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
all filled with tears for me,


I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.


I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
and each time that you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too.


But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
and said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.


But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.


I had so much to live for,
So much left yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.


I thought of all the yesterdays
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
and all the fun we had


If I could re-live yesterday
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.


But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
would take the place of me.


And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you, and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.


But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home
When God looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne.


He said, "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today your life on earth is past,
But here life starts anew


I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There's no longing for the past.


You have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times
You did some things
You knew you shouldn't do.


But you have been forgiven
And now at last you're free.
So won't you come and take my hand
And share my life with me?


So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we're far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.

 



From: Ashley
eMail: xl0veb3rri@hotmail.com
City_State: San Diego
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 04:43 PM

it's been 6 months and hardly a day goes by without a thought of you. it's amazing how time flies. we all miss you and love you so much.

<3ashley


From: Amy Moll
City_State: San Marcos, California
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 03:34 PM

I was directed to this site after I saw a bulletin on a website saying R.I.P. Brittany. I clicked on it & was moved by how much her family loved her & how much they let her spirit on. You have my dearest sympathy & my dearest thoughts. I pray for the family. She seems so wonderful & full of life & energy.
 



From: Tammy Rydahl
eMail: rydahl@cox.net
City_State: San Diego, CA
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 03:23 PM

Brittany~

Today marks 6 months since the day you went to Heaven! I can not believe it has been so long and yet sometimes it still seems like it was just yesterday. We will be meeting your mom at the site tonight to light a candle and remember you!! Not a day goes by that we don't think of you and even say your name or talk about you. Your presence here is felt everyday!!

Blowing Kisses to you in Heaven~

Tammy


City_State: San Diego, CA
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 01:39 PM

I can't believe it was 6 months ago today that you left us. Six months of tears and missing you so badly. I still shake my head in disbelief, that this can't be true. There is an emptiness that can never be filled - a place that was yours and yours alone in our hearts.

My children still struggle daily - they miss their Brittany and cry from the pain your absence causes. They struggle with the why's and how this could happen to someone they loved so dearly. Someone they thought they would grow up with and create many more memories together.

They do manage to smile, even laugh when a happy memory comes to mind. Or a butterfly dances by in the sky. You are in our hearts, thoughts and prayers every day, along with your family. We miss you Brittany with every fiber of our being and look forward to one of your BIG HUGS when we meet again in our Father's kingdom.

Take Care Sweetheart and thanks for all the fun memories. We love You!!

Laura, Morgan, Cameron & Erin


From: Tanya Nicole Luxenburg
eMail: theycallmelux@gmail.com
City_State: San Diego, CA
Date: October 24, 2005
Time: 01:15 PM

Dearest Brittany,

Wherever you are, I hope you are listening to the thoughts I am about to share.

Six months ago today, marks one of the most heart wrenching days in the course of my lifetime. Six months ago today marks many different emotions for many people.

"They say that many people walk in and out of our lives, and only true friends leave footprints in our hearts."

I look at your picture many times throughout the day and can still bring myself to believe I may simply bump into you at some store or something. Unfortunately, I have to remind myself of the realities in the situation. I find this quote more than just a matter of opinion in your case, this quote is factual. As easily as you came into my life, you left it as well. It's a tragedy that haunts us all really.

The "why's" and "what if's" seem to linger in the back of our minds. The questions trail one by one and pass through our thoughts. It makes us stop and ponder the events leading up to your passing and the painful aftermath of it all. We gave our condolences to your family. But that in itself never felt like it was enough. We spent weeks together with loved ones, shedding tears and opening our arms to our friends suffering the same despair that we ourselves were undergoing.

We wondered why such a beautiful intelligent girl could bless our lives and just so quickly disappear. You think about it, and pray that it's some funny magic act in which you will mysteriously re-appear. When I look at this quote, and pick it apart...I am able to view it in a more positive light. You may have walked out of our lives, or sweetly drifted off like the beautiful angel you always were...but you left footprints larger than life on our hearts as you were drifting off. We have all been deeply affected and touched by the friendship and love you so kindly shared with us. Although we long for your smile and light hearted laugher, your voice and your hugs. We cherish what wonderful gifts those were. Even though those things have left us, the memories we shared with you will not.

With your departure, came our maturity and compassion. Each one of the people you have blessed in life takes some type of great quality that you possessed and blesses someone else with them. Each one of us takes a quality and carries it with us as we go through the motions of our day. We also carry awareness, and caution. We are forever changed, but also saved as well. You have widened our eyes to so many different things. One moment, one decision...whether it's good, bad, or simply foolish can impact so many others. I, Tanya Nicole Luxenburg, am forever changed.

The footprints in my heart will never fade. We thank you. I...thank you. I thank you for the love, friendship, and lessons that I will always keep tucked in my invisible pocket. The rest of the world...has a lot that they can learn from you.

--Tanya


Date: October 23, 2005
Time: 08:39 PM

Star, it was so good seeing you today. You're so strong for continuing with coaching for Baylee. Looking through the program, when I saw the page for Brittany and I was reading through what it said, tears just came to my eyes. I couldn't help it, and I didn't care who saw me.

Sometimes, I try not to think about it because it hurts too much. And when I do think about it, it's so hard to know that this is real. I wear my Brittany Star bracelet everyday. Everyday I think about Brittany and how she has changed me. I've never lost a friend of mine before, and now I know how bad it hurts, and how unfair it is. Tomorrow will be six months, and I know I will have my own time for remembrance. Six months is a long time, and it will never get easier.

My mom also told me that she talked to you, and you might come to our competition on the 20th. I know all us girls that were with her last year would love that, it would mean a lot. This season and every other is dedicated to her. I know I'll be doing my best in her honor.

Brittany, I love you so much, and I wish you were still with us. I never got to tell you how much I cared about you, how amazing you were. You've inspired me to be a better person, and to always do my best and always do the right thing. I know you're watching over me, and I hope that someday, we can see each other again and you'll know just how much you mean to me.

Love always,


Danielle Pray


From: olivia rudisill
City_State: washington
CheckBox: OK to Post Name
Date: October 23, 2005
Time: 01:52 PM

i am so sorry for ur loss i did not know brittney i was just looking at cheer websites cause i cheer and i will pray for ur family and hope u all are doing okay.

love,olivia ,w.a


From: Autumn
City_State: GA
Date: October 22, 2005
Time: 03:47 PM


Hi brittany

I'm an All- star cheerleader and i started one year ago and i love it.  I'm also a flyer just like you are. I hope to continue cheering and get a scholarship to a good college.  that's my dream! All your pictures are awesome i love them.

It was faith that brought me to your site i'll pray for your family and may god be with you. Fly with the angels.


From: Hana From Pyramids all-stars in Concord CA,
eMail: LovelyMissHana@yahoo.com
City_State: Walnut Creek, Ca
Date: October 20, 2005
Time: 11:48 PM

Hello,

I was just browsing around one day and I happened to stumble upon this website. I just wanted to say that I have never met Brittany before, and it's my loss that I didn't. But I send my prayers up to her and her family and friends, as an all-star cheerleader, its like loosing one of our own.

Thank you for this web site, its beautiful and I'm deeply touched by it, I am going to talk to my gym and maybe get a fundraiser going so that we can put some money in this foundation. Stay strong everyone, there is a blessing in everything. My love and support go out to all,

Sincerely,


Hana


Date: October 18, 2005
Time: 05:33 PM

im really am sorry about your daughter and friend. i heard she was a great girl with a great personality i wish i could've gotten to know her!!!


Date: October 18, 2005
Time: 01:05 PM

i saw a million stars in the sky the other night night. looks like you've been making friends up there. :)

~~~~seeing and thinking that, made me smile.


From: Rachel
City_State: San Diego, California
Date: October 18, 2005
Time: 12:05 AM


Brittany...not a day goes by that I don't think of you.

It's been 5 months going on 6 since you left us. Each and everyday, I look at my "Brittany Star" bracelet and wish I didn't have it. I know it's supposed to make me have you with me everyday, but I hate the fact that this is REAL and not a dream. Each month that goes by that you don't post your pictures online, each day that I don't see you screen name pop up on my computer, it makes it that more real...It is slowly sinking in, but I don't want it to...

I want to believe that you are just away for a while, and that you'll be back. You'll come to school and say, "WHAT?! I'm not dead...I'm right here...!!!" I want that so much, as I'm sure everyone does. It's so unfair how young, beautiful, kind people like you are put on earth and taken out so incredibly fast and unexpected.

I miss you so much.

I know that you want me to not feel guilty for not trying to be close with you when you were still here...but how can I not? There's no way for me to feel that it is ok. You tried to be close with me, and I never let you...I hate myself for that. You always wanted to hang out, and I was always too busy. I ignored you... I was never mean to you, but I could have been SO much nicer. I hate myself for being so stupid and letting my ego get in-between what a great friendship we could have had. Brittany, I have always thought you were a nice girl. ALWAYS. I don't understand why I never got to be close with you.

We all miss you so very much. It hurts. It's killing your mom. She misses you with every inch of her body and soul. She wants to hold you, hug you, laugh with you, cry with you, shop with you, do all the things that mother & daughter's do.

We all want to see that smile of yours again...that PRICELESS smile that could turn ANY frown upside down.

I want to see your little self walking through the hallways with your little pink pony backpack, even though you got a new one when you were still with us. I wanna hug you again! I want to tell you all about how MISERABLE i am with my ex boyfriend, because only you would sit and listen to me cry about it. You listened to everyone's problems...

I want to see you again...so much. I think we ALL do. If only we could get you back...................

Brittany I love you so much. Please always know that. No matter how many years pass, I will always miss you and won't ever forget you. Please visit me every once in a while...

I love you.........


<3 Rachel


From: Andi
City_State: CA
Date: October 11, 2005
Time: 09:43 PM


i never knew Brittany but i've seen her face before. i remember going to a cheer competition to support a friend of mine and i think that's how i remember her.

this is such an amazing site. i'm pretty sure Brittany was an amazing girl. My prayers go out to the Curcio family and the CA allstar cheerleaders who got the lucky chance to know Brittany.


From: tanya nicole luxenburg
eMail: theycallmelux
City_State: san diego
Date: October 15, 2005
Time: 09:47 AM

Hey Britt Britt,
I miss you tremendously
I think of you every single day
I shed tears for you here and there
I worry about your family
I think about our friends
I love you very much
I hope you're happy where you are
I hope you're watching over us
I hope you keep us safe
I wish I could see you again
You've kept us safer these past 5 and a half months

Thank you
Love you
Miss you
and everything else I wish i could tell you in person

<3 tanya


From: Frieda Varela
City_State: Chula Vista, CA
Date: October 10, 2005
Time: 11:10 AM

Hi Brittany,

Today is Matthews 15th Birthday, and I am so lucky to be able to share this day with him.

Your mom was wonderful enough to help me get Charger tickets for the game tonight. (Thank you Star & Tony =) The last Charger game I went to was in your memory. Your mom, friends and family put a lot of work into it, and it was so nice to see your friends and family celebrate your life in cheer.

Matthew is very excited about the game tonight; he says this is the best birthday EVER!! Your dad got Matthew some more Bracelets. The original one your dad gave him finally gave in to his wear and tear, but Matthew still has it on his dresser =) I know I am very lucky to have my family here with me, my brother in law just came home from Iraq, and we are grateful he came home. My sister is taking him to the game tonight to celebrate him coming home, back to us.

Matthew and I were talking last night, he's learning to drive and takes it very serious because he knows the dangers involved. I let him back my car out of our garage yesterday and “attempt” to park it, but I decided not to let him try to park, as he got out of the drivers seat he just looked at me with this serene look on his face and a sense of respect. He has learned this through you and the STAAR program. I really wish we could have met you while you were here.

You and Matthew have a lot in common. You’re both very good kids with a lot of drive for success. He is so smart and loves his family and loves people and helping people, especially in their time of need. He talks very highly of you to his friends, and when he shares your story he does so for the right reasons.

My little girl Angel just began cheering last season, and is eager to continue. We look at your pictures on your website, and she is just amazed at those crazy moves you do! Angel really wants to continue to Cheer, and she may not have the drive if this website were unavailable. I hope to be able to continue to be a part of your celebrations of life/cheer,

I think what your mom and dad are doing to keep the STAAR program strong is great!! I know it has helped my child be aware, I pray it continues to help other kids!!

Star, keep up the great work, I really admire you for your strength!! You and the girls are in my thoughts and prayers.

Tony, It’s really nice to see your growth and to see you make positive out of negatives!! You too are in my prayers. Thank you both for allowing my family to share your baby girls’ life!!

With love and respect to you and your families,

Frieda, Matthew and Angel Varela


Date: October 09, 2005
Time: 09:35 PM

Comments:

brittany...

darling.. i hope you doing really awesome. i know everyone down here is trying to do the best we can. we think about you daily. and we just hope your doing well.

i wear your bracelet everyday. and i look down at it and just think why you. i hope your mom's doing well...she's a pretty awesome lady. she's so strong for all the weakness in us. and she just keeps your spirit alive. which keeps all of us alive.

I tried hard to tell myself.. you're not gonna be back. but i know your probably doing 100% better up there. enjoying yourself, in such a wonderful place. and when i go there i hope to say hi too you! and give you a hug! i go by each day knowing your watching over us. and things are all gonna be okay!

.....
sleep tight little angel!
 


From: Baylee
Date: October 06, 2005
Time: 08:58 PM

Hi Brittany,

I love you and I miss you. I would do anything in the world to get you back. I will always remember the bright smile you had on your face everyday.

I'll always remember when you always walked me home from school. I know you will always be in my heart.

Your the best sister ever...and I will always remember when we went to Disneyland. I'll always remember all the memories we had.

 Please make sure that you're always watching over us.

Love,
Sissy Baylee


From: Barbara Eldridge
eMail: barbara.eldridge@sbcglobal.net
City_State: michigan city In
Date: October 06, 2005
Time: 07:11 PM


HELLO BRITTANY'S FAMILY

HOW ARE ALL OF YOU DOING I HOPE ITS GETTING A LITTLE EASIER AND BETTER FOR YOU. I KNOW THAT ALL OF YOU ARE GOING THREW A HARD TIME RIGHT NOW BUT I KNOW THAT THINGS WILL BE BETTER IN TIME LIKE THIS MONTH WILL BE MY BROTHER'S BIRTHDAY HE WOULD OF BEEN 37YRS OLD

THERE'S NOT A DAY GOES BY THAT I DON'T THINK OF HIM BUT I KNOW THAT HE IS LOOKING DOWN ON US AND MAKING SURE THAT WE ARE OK.  ITS BEEN 28 YRS THAT MY BROTHERS BEEN GONE AND I STILL MISS HIM A LOT

I WISH THAT HE WAS STILL HERE WITH US AND NOT UP IN HEAVEN SO I KNOW HOW STAR IS FEELING

THERE WERE GOOD DAYS AND THERE WERE BAD DAYS . I REMEMBER I COULD NOT BRING MYSELF TO GO TO HIS GRAVE IT HURT SO BAD AND WHEN I DID I CRIED A LOT BECAUSE I MISSED HIM A LOT.  COMPARE 6 MONTHS TO 28 YRS IS A LONG TIME.

PLEASE TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU. BRITTANY WILL ALWAYS BE IN OUR PRAYERS AND THOUGHTS TOO.

 
BARBARA


From: Amy Morini
City_State: Columbia, SC
Date: October 06, 2005
Time: 02:17 PM

Hi Star

It seems like it has been so long since I've talked with you, you are always in my prayers.

I just wanted to drop a quick note to let you know that we are stilling thinking of you. Kyle wore his bracelet to school and everyone has asking him about it and he had the chance to tell his friends about Brittany and the STAAR program. 

WOW!!! Brittany is still touching the lives of people.

Love AMY Morini


From: rachel
Date: October 05, 2005
Time: 08:23 PM

hi brittney

I didnt now u very well but i have a friend who does we miss u a ton


From: Rebecca Wilner
eMail: rebecca_wilner@csumb.edu
Date: October 05, 2005
Time: 03:36 AM


"It's only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth -- and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up, we will then begin to live each day to the fullest, as if it was the only one we had."

~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


"It is not the end of the physical body that should worry us. Rather, our concern must be to live while we're alive -- to release our inner selves from the spiritual death that comes with living behind a facade designed to conform to external definitions of who and what we are."

~Elisabeth Kubler-Ross


Brittany, a few nights ago would have been my Nana's 78th birthday but she is no longer here to celebrate the day with us. I cried and I cried and I cried. I cried for months over her death and while I was crying, I only thought two questions: Why did it have to be her, My Nana Marilyn, that died? Why did it have to be my best friend? I also kept thinking about all the events in my life that are going to happen that my Nana will not be at. All this crying and blaming myself and screaming out questions to God that have still never been answered, only made the mourning process harder for me, my family, and friends.

It has taken me over 2 years to stop looking at the negatives of her death. To stop thinking about the times she is going to miss...my college graduation in just 7 months, my wedding and when I give birth to my first child. While I will always be sad that she will not physically be there with me at all of these milestones, she will always be in my heart. I have learned that what matters most is the time she was on this Earth. We were never guaranteed a tomorrow so we must live each day to its fullest, like it was our last. The quantity of our lives is not nearly as important as the quality of our lives. Each day, you should ask yourself if you have made a positive difference in someone's life. And if you have, then you have lives one more successful day.


To Brittany's Family:

It would be impossible for me to say to stop blaming yourself and to say "if only I were there, things would be different." Whether I, or a therapist, or another family member or friend tell you it is not your fault, you may always believe it is. The decision is up to you. All that I can say is to think of the life Brittany lived. Having never met her, I know she touched the lives of many and made a difference in everyone's life. So she did live her life to the fullest. She was only on this Earth for 15 years, but think of all that she has accomplished. She was a successful student in high school, active in AVID, a great cheerleader, a caring sister and a loving friend. She cared about everyone around her and will never be forgotten. I have a picture of Brittany that I keep in my car right on the dash board. It reminds me to make the right decisions and at my end of the day while I am driving back to my apartment, I ask myself if I made a positive difference in someone's life today.

I will be placing flowers on Brittany's grave site the next time I am home in San Diego.

RIP Brittany Star

Love,
Rebecca Wilner

**.keep.looking.over.us.sweet.butterfly.**
**.continue.to.soar.in.heaven.**
 


From: Kat Glazko
eMail: ekaterina@san.rr.com
Date: October 01, 2005
Time: 11:25 AM

I am interested in doing a fundraiser for STAAR. Please email me with advice. I believe that many kids in my school should know about this, and I want to help.


From: Shayna Brickman
eMail: shayshay277@yahoo.com
City_State: san diego, ca [4s ranch]
Date: October 01, 2005
Time: 09:18 AM


hi mrs.mumma,

i was so happy to see you yesterday at the plaza.

when we were pulling in i saw your sticker on your car and my eyes got watery! and then my mom was like heyy that's brittanys mom and i jumped outta the car.

i am so sorry i felt soo good talking to you it made me really calm. i know its hard but you'll get through it. it will be long and hard but it will happen. just remember she's with you where EVER you go. 

and right when i walked away from talking to you here came the tears i couldn't believe this was actually happening and i didn't want it to!

well maybe ill see you soon if you come back to tereno - ill definitely walk over to you and comfort you

<3 right now you are my hero mrs.mumma from being so strong concerning something so terrible like this.

BRITTANY STAR we all LOOVE you.<3 143


i have a question about the tree that i want to ask you so if you could PLEASE e-mail me at shayshay277@yahoo.com that would be GREAT:]

loove<3 shayna